I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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