i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
