Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Couch. On fire.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
