So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
