take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There's always time for handjobs
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
