i just had sex bonerless
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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