Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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