Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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