The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
