Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
