shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
