Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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