11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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