it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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