let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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