if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
