I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
