no. you can't hotbox the world.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
