Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
