So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
