There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Sext me about skeletons
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