Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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