It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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