You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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