There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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