We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I bet he comes in French.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
