New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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