Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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