she looked like the bat from fern gully.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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