its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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