Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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