If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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