you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
