Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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