Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
