dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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