Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
