I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
