insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Even my vagina gasped.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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