ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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