I just pynch a tree in the face
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I will pee on everything he values.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
