Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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