I must be too annoying 4 u.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
