Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sorry about my life...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
