She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We left the knife in your bed.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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