Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
