i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
