Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
