You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
