Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
